[tank nut]

Originally Posted by Captain Eddie

It took me a couple of seconds tp think about it.........LOL FUNNY!

IT is the sackville thing, Captain, it is coming back to haunt you, soon the spelling well go away from you and your hair will all fall out PS the is mine and mine alone, failure to listen to this warning will cause me to write your life story and it will not be nice lol

[Captain Eddie]

Originally Posted by tank nut

PS the is mine and mine alone, failure to listen to this warning will cause me to write your life story and it will not be nice lol

GO AHEAD.........MAKE MY DAY!!!!!!!!

[skydriver]

Guys, the wife sent me this. I hope it makes it past the moderators. I ended up laughing my ass off.

A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. She starts talking about this really great new drink. After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him.
The bartender brings the drink and puts the following items on the bar: A salt shaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice.

The woman explains. First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next
you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you
drink the lime juice.'

So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.

He puts the salt on his tongue. salty but OK. He drinks the shot of Baileys..very pleasant, holding it in his mouth. He thinks...this is OK.

Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.

In one second the sharp lime taste hits. At two seconds the Baileys curdles. At three seconds the salty, curdled taste and mucous-like consistency hits. At four seconds it feels as if he has a mouth full of nasty snot.

This triggers his gag reflex, but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now foul tasting drink.

When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says, 'Good God!!! What do you call that drink?'

She smiles at him and says,......... ' BJ Revenge.'

[Rush104]

A friend sent me this one-

Doctor Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to
forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while
he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice that said:
"Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you
won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go.."
But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality, whispering... "Dave, you're a vet..." ...

[kabelace]

CHINESE PROVERBS
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Man who run in front of car get tired
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Man who run behind car get exhausted.
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright
> >organ.
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to
Bangkok.
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Man with one chopstick go hungry.
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on
earth..
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
> >
> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >
> > Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

[Shawn 507]

You forgot:

" Man who swallow silver dollar, have a hard time passing money"

And here is one my Grandfather shared with me as a young man:

Hickory dickory dock...
The mice ran up her sock...
One stopped at the garter...
The other was smarter...
Hickory dickory dock!

[1948]

two guys were having a drink in a Tijuana bar. They notice a hooker sitting at a table and you could see right up her dress. one guys says "look she has no panty's on" and the other guys says "no I think she has on fishnet panty's on". To settle the dispute they pay the bartender a couple of dollars to go find out for them. He comes back and says "your both wrong, its fly's".

[Rush104]

Wade Boggs, Steve Garvey and Pete Rose are sitting in a hotel bar having a few drinks, when a gorgeous blonde walks by. Wade turns to the others and says "See that good lookin' blonde that just walked in? She'll be up in my bed before the night is over." Steve turns to him and says "No she won't Wade, she's carrying my baby." Pete then turns to both of them and says "Wanna bet?"

[Rush104]

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift.
He told her about a new procedure called "The Knob"; in which a small knob is placed on top of the woman's head and can be turned to tighten up the skin to produce the effect of a brand new facelift.
She agreed to the procedure and immediately had the Knob installed.
Over the course of the years the effects of the Knob were wonderful; she kept tightening the Knob and remained youthful looking and vibrant. After fifteen years however, some problems developed and she had to return to the doctor.
She said, "Doctor, overall the Knob has worked wonderfully, but lately I've had two major problems with it. First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes, and the Knob won't get rid of them..."
At this point the doctor interrupted and told her "Ma'am, those aren't bags under your eyes, those are your breasts."
"Well", she said, "Then I guess there's no point asking about the goatee!"

[smartd]

Who's your best friend?*If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

>Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour. When you
>open the trunk, who is really happy to see you!