[Nimrod48]

The Male Female Divide

My bank has just installed a drive thru cash point & in the letter they have sent to each customer they have kindly given the following instructions on how each sex should use this new facility.

Procedures for our male customers:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Wind down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine & enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash & withdraw.
5. Retrieve card cash & receipt.
6. Wind up window.
7. Drive off.



Procedures for our female customers:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse back to the required distance to
align car window with cash machine.
3. Re-start stalled engine.
4. Wind down the window.
5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto
passenger seat to find card.
6. Turn the radio down.
7. Attempt to insert card into machine.
8. Open car door to allow easier access to
cash machine due to its excessive distance from car.
9. Insert card.
10. After “invalid card” is displayed, remove the
aforementioned store charge card & insert
correct cash point card.
11. Insert cash point card.
12. Re-insert cash point card the right way up.
13. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your
PIN written on the back page.
14. Enter PIN.
15. Press “cancel” & re-enter correct PIN.
16. Enter amount of cash required.
17. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
18. Retrieve cash & receipt.
19. Empty handbag again to locate purse
& place cash inside.
20. Place receipt in back of cheque book.
21. Re-check make-up
22. Drive forward two meters.
23. Reverse back to cash machine
24. Retrieve card.
25. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder &
place card in slot provided.
26. Re-start stalled engine & drive away.
27. Drive for two or three miles.
28. Release the hand brake.

Many thanks for your custom.

[mikeb1958]

Originally Posted by Nimrod48

The Male Female Divide

My bank has just installed a drive thru cash point & in the letter they have sent to each customer they have kindly given the following instructions on how each sex should use this new facility.

Procedures for our male customers:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Wind down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine & enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash & withdraw.
5. Retrieve card cash & receipt.
6. Wind up window.
7. Drive off.



Procedures for our female customers:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse back to the required distance to
align car window with cash machine.
3. Re-start stalled engine.
4. Wind down the window.
5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto
passenger seat to find card.
6. Turn the radio down.
7. Attempt to insert card into machine.
8. Open car door to allow easier access to
cash machine due to its excessive distance from car.
9. Insert card.
10. After “invalid card” is displayed, remove the
aforementioned store charge card & insert
correct cash point card.
11. Insert cash point card.
12. Re-insert cash point card the right way up.
13. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your
PIN written on the back page.
14. Enter PIN.
15. Press “cancel” & re-enter correct PIN.
16. Enter amount of cash required.
17. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
18. Retrieve cash & receipt.
19. Empty handbag again to locate purse
& place cash inside.
20. Place receipt in back of cheque book.
21. Re-check make-up
22. Drive forward two meters.
23. Reverse back to cash machine
24. Retrieve card.
25. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder &
place card in slot provided.
26. Re-start stalled engine & drive away.
27. Drive for two or three miles.
28. Release the hand brake.

Many thanks for your custom.

Ain't gonna touch that with a 30 foot pole....

[jim]

Good one Nimrod,
Many a true word is spoken in jest.

[tank nut]

Ya we know that you drive like that jim, the wife told us!!!

[Captain Eddie]

Originally Posted by tank nut

Ya we know that you drive like that jim, the wife told us!!!

Very good, turd nut....you actually used a comma! Problem is, what the HECK are you talking about within the context of this thread?

[tank nut]

Captain, why are you so mean to me?? I never did anything to you yet lol.

[Rush104]

Originally Posted by Captain Eddie

Very good, turd nut....you actually used a comma! Problem is, what the HECK are you talking about within the context of this thread?

Please don't encourage him, Captain...

[tank nut]

Don't you have to clean out the C 5 or something rush??

[Captain Eddie]

Originally Posted by tank nut

Captain, why are you so mean to me?? I never did anything to you yet lol.

Do I hear the music refrain from the movie "JAWS"?

[skydriver]

This kind of reminds me....several years before I got married a girl I knew wanted to set me on a date. I asked a guy friend if he knew her and he said he did and that she was like a drive up bank teller.

I asked him what he meant, and he said...Pretty face ( which you get to see from the drive up window ), nice boobs ( which you get to see from the drive up window) , but a rear as big as a bus ( which obviously you don't get to see ).

Since I was a shallow person in those days, I decided not to go on the date. Now I find a woman with some "junk in her trunk" to be much sexier than most skinny women.