[mikeb1958]

Ok, I heard it all now. Last night on the Nationals News, the Vatican has come up with a "solution" now for the all the road problems going on with the world's road system concerning traffic.. Too funny. "Thou shall not want expenisive cars". "Thou shall not have sex in cars", etc. Soon we might see added revisions/sections to the "Commandments" also. Gezz...can you come up with something sensible there? How about something like "Thou shall not purchase "gas guzzeling vehicles". That sounds more intelligent than most of the rest of them, if not all, and I just had my first sip of coffee too!

[TopHat]

So that all Forum members can take note, here they are:

1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

[mikeb1958]

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

5a. If your at the "Submarine Races", "Bobbing for my apples", "Playing Doctor or Nurse", "Pop goes the weasel", "Backseat pocket pool", or "Wow! I never seen one like that before!" or other "sinfull activites" in the backseat. Please then make sure you have your 'condoms', 'rubbers', 'plastic wrap', 'sheep skin' or whatever you may call them, with you during these 'sinner outdoor urges'.

5b. Make sure you are parked out of view from nosey neighbors, the police, giggly teenagers, your parents, your spouse or girlfriend, your kids, strip clubs, etc. The church parking lot at midnight would not be considered to be wise choice as well as the cemetary.

5c. If you do participate in one of the above, then at your next confessional, please bring a extra $100.00 for the collection plate. No "IOU's" notes allowed, Cash only and NO QUESTIONS will be asked. Just maybe some of the 'sinfull" details.

5d. Everyone must purchase a "non muscle" car as soon as possible. We perfer actually if it were a Mini-Cooper, Smart Car, or a like type car that does NOT have a back seat or a very small one, so you would not have the urge to comment either #5, #5a, or #5b above.

[mikeb1958]

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm. Since most of us can't read lips from the other driver, does "sign language", ie, a single finger count? Or does "cummunion" actually mean eating crackers and drinking wine while driving, since you missed "communion" at church last Sunday since Dale Enhardt Junior was on in High-Def?
3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events. What planet are they living on? "Oh I am sorry I swirved and nailed the side of that blue BMW officer, I was just driving along peacefully and puffin' on my crack pipe when all of a sudden a very large pink elephant ran out onto the street and I couldn't help but swirve and hit them".
8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness. I think that would be called "Civil Court".
9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party. Does this refer to the Republican Party? Or the Keg Party you just left from?

[TopHat]

Originally Posted by mikeb1958

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

5a. If your at the "Submarine Races", "Bobbing for my apples", "Playing Doctor or Nurse", "Pop goes the weasel", "Backseat pocket pool", or "Wow! I never seen one like that before!" or other "sinfull activites" in the backseat. Please then make sure you have your 'condoms', 'rubbers', 'plastic wrap', 'sheep skin' or whatever you may call them, with you during these 'sinner outdoor urges'.

What about "Hide the Skunk" or "Pin Some Tail on the Skunk"? Are those off limits as well?

[mikeb1958]

Originally Posted by TopHat

What about "Hide the Skunk" or "Pin Some Tail on the Skunk"? Are those off limits as well?

That would take a phone call to the Vatican I would think.

[bsmith13]

Originally Posted by TopHat

So that all Forum members can take note, here they are:

1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

Well said.

[SKUNKY]

Originally Posted by TopHat

What about "Hide the Skunk" or "Pin Some Tail on the Skunk"? Are those off limits as well?

The 11th commandment states: "Thou shalt not runneth over the skunk"

[flyXwire]

Originally Posted by SKUNKY

The 11th commandment states: "Thou shalt not runneth over the skunk"

"Forgive me Father...for I have sinned! We'll it's your fault for J-walking in front of me!"

[mustangdriver]

Number 12 should read, "Try real hard not to shoot some one that just cut you off because they were on their cell phone."